1. Last day of the first month of summer, and holy frijoles it went by fast. Some of that is that we’ve been legitimately busy. Some of that is that I’m still trying to cram a writing block into every day–even when those days have no child-free hours, which is both intense and intensely amusing. And some of it, I think, is that I am simultaneously very excited for the kiddo to start school, and completely horrified that he’s old enough to be doing so.
I mean, yay me, I kept him alive for five years! (Something I wasn’t entirely sure I was capable of, when those crazy people at the hospital let me walk out of there with this tiny precious human in my arms.) But also, if I’m less of a full-time & more of a part-time child wrangler, then I feel like my writing has to amount to a bit more in order for me to feel ok about not holding down a ‘real’ job. So feeling a little weird about that.
I’m writing, selling the occasional short story, getting agent requests for my manuscript, but number of books sold is still a big, fat, zero.
And yet there’s nothing I want more in life–outside of the family I have–than to write, professionally, for the rest of it.
Things I need to think about. Pursue the dream harder, better, faster somehow–or maybe just say “I don’t have this in me.” I don’t like that second idea at all, but it’s been pestering me lately.
2. Saw another fox on this morning’s dog-walk. This one had something limp and dead in his?/her? mouth. (We looked it up, the kiddo & I, when he needed to know if the daddy fox might have been bringing the babies food as well. Happy to report that, yes, Daddy-fox might very well be the Bringer of Squirrels.) Really hope this family of foxes survives & thrives. There’s something very satisfying about seeing foxes in the early morning. Starts the whole day off right.
3. Gymnastics day-camp has been good to the little boy so far. It’s also meant he’s napped both days this week so far. Which makes it harder for his father to get him to sleep at night, but also means he’s not exhausted in the late afternoon as he’s been since February, when he decided he was done with napping.
Today he brought home a piece of artwork entitled “The Plas of Bisy Trucks.” Cranes, tow-trucks, semis & tractors–it was a very bisy plas, indeed.
4. We had the piano tuned for the first time since we moved, and it’s an absolute joy to play again. I’d pretty much given up, since I couldn’t play before for all the wincing at its horribleness. But I’m slowly starting to remember some of my favorite pieces, and I’d love to learn more. Any suggestions? I’ve always played classical & ragtime, but have started to enjoy movie scores as well. There are songs from The Piano that are as rewarding to play as anything written 200 years ago…
5. I do love my little office, carved out of a tiny, sloped-ceiling closet. It’s barely big enough for a chair, but it has a teeny tiny window mostly overlooking the roof. And some trees. And the neighbor’s roof. Also a guest-room bed where Princess Wiggle-butt likes to sleep while I’m writing. I love this little room terribly. Best place in the house.